a story of shattered glass & rage to reclamation

JOURNAL ENTRY // MAY 30TH - WHEN THE MIRROR SHATTERS

I tried to look for meaning in the broken glass. A sign. Anything.

Anything to tell me I'm not a monster—that this rage overtaking my mind isn't just to scare the living shit out of my kids.

I slammed the bathroom door. The mirror crashed to the floor. My girls watched.

In those moments—door slams, fists clenched, screaming into the void—I tell myself: at least I'm not abusive. I don't hurt them. But the truth is, it must be terrifying to witness their mother consumed by rage over things that shouldn’t matter.

I wonder how much therapy they’ll need. I should start a fund. I try not to direct the anger at them. I try to make sure they know it’s not them.

I’m just tired. And I don’t know how to do this.

This = Being a calm, patient, present, and fun mother. This = Running a soul-aligned business that empowers women while staying regulated, sexy and magnetic.

After the apology—tears still on my cheeks—the inner critic takes the wheel:

"You're not fit to be a mother. You really should become the breadwinner and have Nic be the primary parent. He’s calm. You’re chaos."

I’d rather be running my business. Creating. Living in the feminine. But this fire in my belly… is this even feminine? The presence I try so desperately to embody feels galaxies away.

From Rage to Reclamation ↴

JOURNAL ENTRY // July 1st rage in disguise

For 27 years, I gave into shame. My identity was suffocated by religion, my body sinful. Off-limits. Never to be explored.

But in postpartum darkness, a gift came: a somatic life coach (divinely, and strangely enough: a woman from my ward) who taught me how to feel again. To recognize full-bodied joy and confidence. To set boundaries like a queen.

Yet, here I am… back in shame. A different flavor, but same roots.

In the hustle of building a divine, magnetic business (can we not see the irony here?), I've lost my actual divinity. I've lost my unique touch. Literally.

The soft graze of fingertips. The breath in my belly. The delicious sensation of sun on skin. I was numb to it all (again!): not wanting to confront the truth and origin of the rage.

I've been seeing the clock at 12:34. It reminds me of my grandma. My sign that it’s time for a “committee meditation.” Spirit guides, cacao, fire, breath, ritual.

I finally listened.

I lit the herbs. I danced barefoot. I prayed. I pulled tarot. I whispered, “I trust the sensations in my body.”

And when I pulled the card—my yoni responded. A surge. A knowing.

It was the card I needed. The message I was too scared to say out loud.

Even just a few years ago, I would've been mortified telling you this story, of my vagina making the decisions, or sharing that I'm deeply imperfect.

Now? It’s my medicine.

Through this gentle reminder and loving message from the universe, I was ready to confront the reason for the rage:

I'VE STILL BEEN CRAMMED INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S BOXES!!

Living in the fear of being "too much." Too weird. Too visible. Judged for being too sexual. Accused of being an "apostate".

The weight of living up to these made-up expectations and assumptions dragged me down to the deepest, darkest depths; drowning.

I realize now, I've always felt like an outsider. What makes now any different?

Now here’s the uglier truth: I keep forgetting that the darkness doesn't disappear forever. Thinking, "I have the tools now, I should know to easily return to them every time."

But the pain doesn’t vanish. We simply get faster at igniting the flame that sets fire to these old beliefs.

Sometimes it just takes the excruciating depths to trigger the spark.



So here's what we're going to do differently, you and I, together:

WE’RE NO LONGER ACCEPTING:

• The shame that keeps us hidden in the dark
• The fear that we’re not enough without a religion.
• Any guilt that strangles and suffocates our joy.

AND WE’RE SAYING HELL YES TO:

🔥 Igniting our fire

🔥 Saying yes to burning desires

🔥 Taking care of our bodies first—before inboxes, before expectations, before the world

🔥 SACRED FLAME: A Free Masterclass 🔥

A ritual of release, rebirth, and radiant reclamation.

There comes a moment when you realize you're done shrinking, performing, or waiting to feel "ready."

You're not here to be quiet. You're here to burn bright.

Sacred Flames is your invitation to burn the old stories—about your body, your worth, your too-muchness or not-enoughness—and return to your sensual, sovereign self.

This masterclass is part storytelling, part embodiment, part spark of rebellion. You’ll walk away with:

✨ A firestarter ritual to release the identities no longer serving you

✨ A reframe on confidence that doesn’t rely on your body changing

✨ A deeper understanding of self-expression as a spiritual practice

✨ A powerful peek inside the EMBLDN Membership, where this transformation continues all year long